by: AMG Law, LLC – Ana Milena Goncalves, Esq.
When parents are going through a child custody or support matter in New Jersey, they often come in with assumptions about how the process works. Misunderstanding how a child custody or support matter in New Jersey is handled can put you at a serious disadvantage.
Here are seven of the most common misconceptions about a child custody or support matter in New Jersey that I hear from parents in Bergen and Passaic counties.
Mothers always get custody.
This is one of the most persistent myths in family law. New Jersey courts do not favor mothers over fathers. The law requires judges to evaluate custody based on the best interests of the child, and neither parent starts with an advantage based on gender. Both parents have equal standing, and the court looks at factors including the child’s emotional and physical safety, each parent’s involvement in the child’s daily life, the stability of each home, and the child’s relationship with each parent, among others.
Joint physical custody means the child spends exactly 50 percent of the time with each parent.
Joint physical custody means the child spends significant time with both parents. It does not mean the time is divided equally. A parenting plan might give one parent slightly more overnights based on work schedules, school location, or the child’s needs. What matters is that both parents remain actively present in the child’s life. The specific schedule is worked out based on the circumstances of each family.
Child support ends when the child turns 18.
In New Jersey, child support does not automatically terminate at 18. Under N.J.S.A. 2A:17-56.67, support continues until the child turns 19 unless the court orders otherwise. Beyond that, support may continue if the child is still in high school, enrolled in college full time, or has special needs. The emancipation of a child in New Jersey is fact-specific and requires either a court order or a formal agreement between the parties.
The parent who earns more always pays child support.
Child support in New Jersey is calculated using the New Jersey Child Support Guidelines, which take into account both parents’ incomes, the amount of parenting time each parent has, healthcare costs, and childcare expenses. The parent with more parenting time typically receives support, but the calculation is based on a formula that considers both households. It is also important to know that if a parent is voluntarily unemployed or underemployed, the court may impute income, meaning support can be calculated based on what that parent is capable of earning, not what they are actually earning.
Parenting time and child support are connected. If one stops, the other can too.
This is one of the most damaging misconceptions in family law, and acting on it can seriously harm your case.
In New Jersey, parenting time and child support are legally independent of each other. If the other parent stops paying support, you cannot withhold parenting time in response. If the other parent is interfering with your parenting time, you cannot stop paying support in response.
A parent does not lose custody or parenting time simply because they owe support. And a parent cannot use parenting time as leverage to collect unpaid support. Both actions can be held against you in court and can affect your credibility in future proceedings.
It is also important to understand that parents cannot modify a child support obligation simply by agreeing between themselves. Even if both parents agree that less will be paid, or that payments will pause, the court order remains in effect. The paying parent is still legally obligated to pay the full amount ordered by the court. Any unpaid balance accumulates as arrears and can be collected later, regardless of what the parents agreed to informally. Only a court can modify what is owed going forward.
Each issue has its own legal remedy. If support is not being paid, the proper response is to enforce the support order through the court. If parenting time is being withheld, the proper response is to seek enforcement of the parenting plan through the court. Trying to handle one by cutting off the other almost always makes your situation worse, not better.
We have to go to court to make adjustments to our parenting plan.
Many parents assume that any change to a parenting schedule requires going back to court. That is not always the case. Parents who are able to work cooperatively have options.
If both parents agree to a modification, they can work with a mediator to reach a resolution, or they can formalize their agreement in writing, signed by both parties. A written, signed agreement between parents can be enforceable as a contract and gives both parties a clear record of what was agreed to.
That said, having the agreement entered as a court order provides an additional layer of protection. A court order is directly enforceable through the court if a dispute arises later. Whether you choose mediation, a written agreement, or a formal court modification, the important thing is that any change is documented clearly and agreed to by both parties in writing.
If we were never married, I have no legal rights regarding our child.
This is a misconception that stops many parents from seeking the legal protection they and their children deserve. In New Jersey, your rights as a parent are not determined by whether you were married to the other parent. Unmarried parents have the same right to seek custody, parenting time, and child support as married parents.
For unmarried fathers, establishing paternity is the first step. In New Jersey, paternity can be established voluntarily by signing a Certificate of Parentage at the time of the child’s birth, or later through a court proceeding. Once paternity is established, an unmarried father has the same standing to seek custody and parenting time as any other parent.
For unmarried mothers, child support can be sought regardless of the parents’ relationship status. The other parent’s obligation to support the child exists independent of marriage.
If you are an unmarried parent with questions about your rights regarding custody, parenting time, or child support in Bergen or Passaic County, the place to start is a direct conversation about your specific situation.
Facing a Child Custody or Support Matter in New Jersey?
Have questions about a child custody or support matter in New Jersey? Every situation is different. If you have questions about a child custody or support matter in New Jersey and how it applies to your specific circumstances, the best place to start is a direct conversation with Ana Milena Goncalves, Esq. She takes the time to understand your situation before giving any advice. Consultations are available in English and Spanish, virtually or in person.
AMG Law, LLC | Ana Milena Goncalves, Esq.
agoncalves@amglawllc.com
201-474-5454
140 E. Ridgewood Ave.
Suite 415, S. Tower #477
Paramus, NJ 07652
The content of this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this post does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every situation is unique. For guidance specific to your case, contact AMG Law, LLC directly to schedule a consultation.